I haven't flashed anything for ages, haven't done anything odd with the phone at all, I have no idea what could have provoked this. Please help, I can't imagine what I'd do if my phone was permanently dead.
Samsung Galaxy SII with MIUI weekly ROM (currently 2.4.27)
Things I have tried:
Long press power button to turn it on (obviously)
Same thing after taking the battery out for ages
Press Vol up + Home + Power to put it into recovery
Press Vol down + Home + Power to put it into download
Plug it into charge
Plug in data cable connected to computer
Take out battery for a while, then replace, plug data cable into computer (but not phone), hold volume buttons while plugging in phone (internet guy told me to)
Everything above shows absolutely nothing on screen. Charging heats it up a little.