Default cant connect to Odin in download mode

there is already several threads with this problems, and I have been through them all nothing helps in my case. I will try to list everything what I did, so we dont waste time here.
my phone is S3 i9300 with baseband version i9300XXUGMJ9 with jelly bean 4.3

I just installed jelly bean 4.3 the other day through Odin, no problem, but after that I wanted to root my phone I cant connect to Odin.
but it connect fine in normal mode. and the drivers are installed correct.

I tried.

usb debugging is okay
several usb cables and ports
3 pcs all running win7
reinstall of samsung drivers and install of the new ones
kies isnt running I tried to reinstall kies also
older version of Odin
if I connect in download mode, nothing pop up in device manager

I have a feeling that something happen at the phone after I upgrade jelly bean.
if there is something else I can do, pls tell.