After finally getting into recovery mode, I still had a problem: The ADB drivers wouldn't load for some strange reason.
I force-installed the drivers in Windows 7 (using the browse button).
Then opened an ADB shell:
I rebooted and got a warning that Google Android setup could not be found, click OK, got the homescreen.
But what is causing these force closes in the first place? I would very much like to figure out what caused to crash so others can avoid this problem.
It force closes when I try to open System Settings > Tethering and Networks, Networks > Mobile Networks