Update with screenshots
So I tried the windows AND Mac toolkits. The windows one just doesn't detect java so it doesn't work at all, and the Mac one "worked" but I'm still getting the exact same issue. Super SU is installed, and apparently working, but doesn't give root.
Shot 1 is my SuperSU app - clearly says SU is Enabled.
Shot 2 is Root Checker....which is clearly showing that I don't have root.
Any help would be HUGELY appreciated as I'm very excited to use this phone...but oh god how spoiled I've been with AdBlocking. No root is poop.