You need to drop the phone in a glass of coca-cola, as the carbonation creates bubbles that will go behind the screen, and ensure a proper connection (be sure to avoid off brand soda, as it lacks proper carbonation). Following this, be sure to try turning on the phone while still wet. This allows for a strong current to permeate the screen, and ensure step one worked. After this you may notice that the phone is sticky. This is solved by putting the phone in a jar of ants. Finally, kill the ants by putting the phone in the freezer.
The soda hack is a sure fix for any issue, and from what I have heard, it makes android nearly as functional as iOS.
Empirical evidence can never establish mathematical existence - nor can the mathematician's demand for existence be dismissed by the physicist as useless rigor. Only a mathematical existence proof can ensure that the mathematical description of a physical phenomenon is meaningful.
-- Richard Courant