Understand your frustration - all of those with the bad luck of having or OTA'ing to MF3 are going bonkers. . .Really don't have any clue since this appears to be one of the truly hard fixes (oops... exploits) to find.
As to friendly Android folks, well actually there are. Even here
. OK, you are right that XDA is different. Some threads are rather prickly and if you jump in with a "stray" comment they jump in and flame and complain.
But other threads are more mellow; and you can see the same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, question asked again and again and someone will politely (more or less) answer these queries or refer the questioner to the right spot. . . So, that's not unusual. (sorry, the hot/repeat question these days seems to be . . . .MF3 ETA!
But all this in not unique to Android. In the Apple support pages, which I frequent every now and then for my MAC issues, I found some rather brusque replies and non-helpful at that! It's not a function of OS. . .it's people and organizational/group culture.
XDA is a real mix of intense, "bleeding-edge" developers and users, who push their software and hardware in very dynamic ways, but who also can be edgy -and not in a good way.
XDA also has "normal" folks, who drop in for help, or add something they like and (unfortunately) sometimes even want to share it with others
Finally, XDA has people (some with surprisingly high numbers of posts!) who have hardware or software problems and need help, but are also clueless. Sometimes folks in this last group are in need of help AND they are impatient or even demanding of the reply posters. . . that's kind of not a good approach!
I guess that makes XDA sort of like real life, it all depends upon who you meet!
There is no doubt that XDA can be a bit off-putting if you don't connect in the right way for the particular thread. but is that happens, don't worry about it! The next thread will be more helpful or understandable, or maybe even friendly . . .