Wasn't the lotion. There was no lotion on its skin, alas phantom touches again...
My wife could hold the phone in her hand, and watch the keyboard keys register presses.
I called T-Mobile, they said they could replace it with a refurb or they'd called Samsung and get the warranty process started.
I didn't want to replace a brand new phone with a refurb. Samsung provided a 2-day shipping label, it was dropped off at UPS today.
Standard operating procedure: 2 days there, 5-7 business days with a tech, 2 days back to us.
Since we just switched from Sprint to T-Mobile, I don't have any backup phones, so we got a loaner from a T-Mobile retail location.
It's a slider feature phone, wife is none too pleased. Going through Samsung isn't costing us anything other than the $53 deposit on the phone.
We'll see how it goes when the phone makes it back.