It's funny to have you mention about Apple. Did apple allow Siri to run on other devices? Or they just use it so that they can sell more 4S? And for updates, have you try to update your iDevices from 5.0 to 5.1? Can you see any different?
I know a lot people got frustrated because "even my mom have ICS now". But you can ask any friend of you who have Galaxy S2, they was crying for ICS also. When S2 have the update, they all get excited, but after a few days they realize that it cannot transform their S2 into S3. Asked them how much it have changed and their reply is "don't know, but it's great to be updated with the latest Android build". That's all. Although you can see that usually, Android updates have much more features changed in compare with iOS.
I think many people was like, just ICS, what is a big deal, a lot of devices already have it. Even some hobbyist developer can do it so what take Samsung so long to make it. But things are not as simple as you may have thought. Because what Samsung need to deliver to us is not just ICS. It is another version of ICS that fully customized, optimized for your devices. The more customization, the more work need to be done. And that why some devices with less customization got update first. Even if they have done the work with the customization, optimization, there are still plenty of things for they to do: testing and improve the firmware until it get to the satisfaction level. For example in Galaxy S Froyo update, There was plenty of leak builds in this XDA forum, and a few months after the first Samsung's Froyo Firmware leak before Samsung released the official build to everybody. Xda-developers always have statement like "Flash at your own risk" but Samsung cannot say so. Xda-developer can release build even daily but Samsung cannot do so. It would be very bad if everyone need to update their devices after a short time. The stability is also a very big issue, there are no point to have ICS but when you try to do something simple, it go wrong...
My 2 year olds Galaxy S still have update last month so I think it is not like Samsung totally forgot the customers after they have sold the device.But yes, I think Samsung could pleased us more if they hire more man power to providing updates (but i think there are no point to move man power from new device development to update development, the fact is new firmware work best with new hardware). I hope with the great profit they've just made last quarter, they should invest more in that area to give their customers more satisfactory.
I'm still waiting for the ICS but I think there are no point to be pissed off because it's haven't came yet. I still can use my tablet now. But I will be really pissed of if Samsung deliver it poorly, buggy, laggy..., they should better make it worth the wait.
You are not comparing like items. Featured software is independent of OS upgrades IMHO. The original iPhone was upgraded many years after it had stopped being sold. Yes there is a point where updates will be too advanced for hardware, but Apple's track record is quite good for a typical phone life cycle of 2-3 years. Is there any way you see the Evo getting upgraded to ICS? No, yet that's exactly what Apple has done product after product.
The after sale experience is something severely lacking and I hope one of these Android manufacturers will get it someday soon. With HTC consolidating their phone line, it could be the first step to a better post sale user experience.
Trust me, I have no love for Apple and their products. I do, however, admire how they design their products from an end user view point. They realize that they can charge a premium up front, because their product will be updated/supported for years to come. Besides the Nexus line, no other Android line is even close.