After rereading the 60page thread on the built in ICS it appears the HTC update does not include the needed drivers for the built in ICS
The only known HTC rom to have them is the HTC Mozart 5.01 rom
I'm gonna look at the new sprint demo rom that got uploaded yesterday and see if they're there but I doubt it.
Sooooo I guess we need to wait for someone to package the driver up in a xap or something
Without the driver it will show up in settings but wont connect