Thanks for the reply mrxsmith! I am using wired headphones but it actually seems to be my earbuds that are the problem - i didn't think to try a different set because they work on other devices. A different wired headset works on my nexus!
I never understood why they made good headphones, but cheap connections. it literally is about the quality of the connection in terms of the hardware. If I'm not mistaken though I could be wrong there is an extra ring on the headphone connector which indicates better quality music into the device you're listening from. Back in the older days, when wired had phones were more widely used, sometimes you were able to work it out with a small piece of tin foil. If you stuck it in there just right you would be able to make the extra connection.