Well, your write up is more informative & certainly more entertaining (I'll hazard a guess from your use of the term "hosed" that you're a good 20+ years younger than me! )
I should apologise to Op for the last few posts being off topic, but on the basis that lineage development on Suez is 'paused' whilst @ggow learns about fatherhood, it seemed helpful to post about how to reinstall the latest Amazon image & get root working (for the time being).
@likwidchz I am assuming from your detailed write up, that this worked fine for you with no real problems?
One minor correction I should make, is that you won't normally lose root when flashing a new ROM in TWRP. I believe the only reason you lose root in this case is because Amazon patched something in their later releases which over-wrote root.
Also, I've no idea what vbmeta is/does, so I've no idea if it was necessary to tick that box in Magisk.