I'm done for tonight
Somehow I got to the point where the security update got installed!!! I followed the ota with magisk guide and did not restart after it, went into the magisk, installed onto the secondary partition (or whatever it's called), rebooted.. and the phone completely froze.. I thought "that's it, this pixel has had a nice long 1wk long life

".
Held the power button for over 30 seconds, booted up, went to magisk, patched the boot.img file, flashed it, and nothing - still no security update installed.
I want to offload the process of updating the phone to my wife, but I kinda like permanent root for acc control, etc